I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
