normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
