I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
