I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
