Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're like the curious george of whores
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
