Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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