hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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