She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
