I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
