im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
