what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
