i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
not ubering you a puppy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize