Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
