Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
