Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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