The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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