Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
