they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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