So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
