Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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