I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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