Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
