She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
