i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
