so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize