he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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