I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
