what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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