Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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