We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
