it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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