I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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