I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize