I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
