After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
