dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
