shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
