I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
40s are totally the cure
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
