Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
