he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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