had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
