Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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