he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well you can't waste a boner
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
