Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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