I will die if light touches me.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
