No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize