the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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