I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
