Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
