She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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