i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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