You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
