Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
be right there i have to get my cape
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize