Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
